I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
