just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I want to fling myself into the sun
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
