I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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