The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Randomize