bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
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