batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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