singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
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