ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
