You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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