i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Randomize
