You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Randomize
