the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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