It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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