That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
