This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
i think i have herpe
just one?
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize