whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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