I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
