I puked a lego.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
