Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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