shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
the liver wants what the liver wants
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
