East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
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