apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
