I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
