I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
