grandma shit on top of the toilet
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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