Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
MIDGETS
????
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
