Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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