I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Hippo gnu deer
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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