Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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