this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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