your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Randomize
