Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Randomize
