i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
