We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Randomize
