I wanna bring you to show and tell
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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