Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
