PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
