haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize