I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
