Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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