i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
