Whats the glycemic index on semen?
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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