And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize