ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Randomize
