Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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