More tranny stories later!
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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