what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
