if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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