don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Randomize
