he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize
