I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize