Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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