please come you make the beer taste better
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
