If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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