I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
