what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
