idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
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