No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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