shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
