Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
