U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
