there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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