So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Randomize
