just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
